How ‘Shoki’ song cost me my job

I made it to the final stage of the recruitment
process of one multinational. The interview was
for 9am at their Island office.
I can boldly say they were looking for candidates
who had the virtue of patience because the
interview didn’t commence till 1pm.
Seated in the waiting room were 10 other
candidates making us 11 altogether. They said it
was 15 minutes for each candidate.
I noticed that each time a candidate came out of
the interview room, the person had frustration
written all over them. (The waiting room was a
glass house so we could see those passing by)
I was curious on what sort of questions were
being asked but interviewed candidates were not
allowed back into the waiting room.
Candidate no5 was the worst hit. He was
practically dragging his feet and nodding his head
disappointedly as he walked past. I had to sneak
out to meet him at the lobby.
“Please, how was it?” I asked.
He just looked at me and said, “Oniranu. Very
yeye man! How can they ask me the effect of
cashless policy on naira devaluation just because
I had a 2.1 in banking?”
He said it was a 2-man panel and I should be
wary of the dark skinned man who was the devil
incarnate. Then he gave me his file jacket to hold
briefly that he needed to locate their toilet
urgently. He was probably purging cos I see no
reason he could not hold on till he got home .
While I waited for him, the man that ushered us in
caught me by the lobby. He was mad that I left
the waiting room before I was called and
instructed me to go into the interview room
immediately even though I insisted it wasn’t my
turn yet.
I tucked no5 file jacket into my handbag and went
in, hoping that I would be out by the time he
returns from the toilet.
I recognised the alleged devil as soon as I got in.
“Please sit.”, the light skinned man (LS) said while
his devil colleague sized me up from feet to head.
He didn’t even respond when I greeted him.
After the usual, “can we meet you?”, “what do you
know about our company?” “Why did you apply for
this job?” questions of which I answered to the
best of my knowledge , the LS man asked me,
“Tell us what is happening in NIGERIA.” All along I
kept wishing the devil man will continue playing
deaf and dumb till I was out.
I talked about the forthcoming elections.
LS man was really jovial and I was pleased the
interview was towing the way of a conversation
with a friend. He told me he’s pro PDP and asked
which political party I belonged to. I’m in support
of neither but the goal is to please your
interviewer so I said I’m an avid supporter of PDP
too.
“See my person o.” He said excitedly. “You need
to see what a PDP governor has done in my
state.”
“Which state Sir?”
“AkwaIbom.”
“Oh Governor Akpabio. That man is awesome.
He’s totally transformed Uyo. Their stadium is a
stunner!”
“Not just Uyo, everywhere in the state.”
“I once bought a movie ticket for N100 at
Silverbird Uyo, are tickets still sold that price?” I
asked.
“I don’t watch movies. So you’ve been to my
town?”
I was trying to ensure our conversation does not
cross our friendly threshold throughout the
15mins duration and by the time he realises I had
tricked him into asking me frivolous questions, it
will be too late to ask further questions except,
“When can you resume?”
All along, the amala-faced man was staring at me
like a wounded lion, patiently waiting for me to
mess up. LoL.
Suddenly, the sound of music filled the air.
“Shoki Shoki Shoki ah! Shoki Shoki Shoki ah! I’m
looking for my…”
Both of them looked puzzled and the smile on the
LS man face faded. I was confused as to where
the music was coming from.
“Young lady, are you looking for a job or you’re
looking for shoki?” Devil finally spoke.
“Excuse me?” I asked.
The music began again.
“How dare you come into an interview room
without switching off your phone!” He roared.
It then occurred to me that it was no5 phone
ringing inside my bag. It had destabilised me and
the atmosphere and I dug my right hand into my
bag, searching frantically for the power button of
the phone.
“Just look at her Mr Eyibo! Look at her! All of
them are the same!” Devil said as he slammed his
hands on the table ferociously. Mr Eyibo was
defenceless.
“I’m taking over from here!” Devil said
authoritatively. “Young lady, what are you bringing
into this company?”
“Ermmm…” I stuttered. Panic had made me dumb.
“Young lady, I say gauge your attributes and tell
us your unique contributions to the growth and
continued success of this company?” He shook
his head. “How will you demonstrate integrity and
command respect in tough situations as a team
member?”
I was just in my seat like, ‘Sir, you can vex oh.
Instead of you to just tell me there’s no job.’
“Call the next person in.” He said dismissively.
The LS man had sorry written over his face . . .
No5 was full of apologies when I told him
everything but the damage had already been
done.
Dude currently sends me links of every vacancy
he finds online as if that is enough
compensation. Good thing he got a regret mail
too or we would have been wearing one leg of
trousers.

Source: naijasinglegu