Some Things You Shouldn't Do When Wooing A Girl!
phenomenon; an occurrence that has plagued
members of the male folk for centuries now. One
of the hardest things for us as guys to do is say
the right words to a woman we like. Let’s be real,
in that moment when you’re in her presence, you
wanna ensure your words are laced with gold.
You wanna make sure your words have the
capacity to put some sort of smile on her face.
You want her to giggle, to laugh…because if you
can genuinely make her laugh, then my nigga
you’re half way there.
However what we want is sh.it compared to what
we really do or say…
At that time, our brain gets clouded by a
thousand and one thoughts all at once and we
begin to foam at the mouth. Our heart begins to
rattle like the soundtrack of Drumline or a
Neptunes production. Basically, we become slow.
How on earth then do we initiate conversation?
What pickup lines do we use? Do we throw on our
faux Harvey Spector swag or just stick to our
Sheldon Cooper geekiness?
I should probably talk about the things you really
shouldn’t do.
1. “Tell me about yourself” – It doesn’t matter if
it’s a date or a mobile conversation, this phrase
is for INTERVIEWS not informal meetings. Some
may say there’s nothing wrong with it but truth
is; it’s a cliché, selfish way of getting to know a
person. If you ask me this, I could say “I’m 50,
retired 419 kingpin who found Jesus and now
wants to live right” Thing is, anyone can give you
a story. Best bet is to ask direct questions that
improve CONVERSATION than leave one person to
do all the talking. If that’s boring, you could
suggest you play a game where you guess stuff
about the other person and see how many you
get right.
Quick tip: You don’t have to guess stuff like
“you’re the first child” etc Make it steamy like
“you’re wearing a thong right now” I’m sorry if
she gets up and walks away or hangs up the
phone, she was never good enough tbh. HAHA
2. Ditch the pick-up lines. “Your father must be
Osama cos you’re the bomb” ... really? REALLY?
“The spaces between your fingers were made so
that mine will fit it” ARE YOU SMOKING EXPIRED
PANADOL?!! “Heaven must be weeping because
they’ve lost an angel” The only thing lost here
seems to be your brain DPMO!!! If I was the girl,
I’d probably just do away with the convo at this
point. Pick-up lines were left behind in the 90’s,
don’t make an ass of yourself just cos you want
to impress her. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t
compliment her but try not to sound like Jim Iyke
at the Synagogue deliverance session while at it.
3. So you’ve had a first date and all seems well,
Bruhhh I know you’re excited nshit cos you
dropped your A- game and you had ol’girl grinning
like a Cheshire but lemme hola at you real quick;
Sorry to burst yo bubble my man, but now isn’t
the time to be all over her like white on rice. A
little space don’t kill anyone. Basically man,
DON’T BOMBARD HER WITH CALLS OR IMS. Let
her breathe. Of course you should check up when
you can at intervals but don’t be Mr regular on
her Whatsapp or iMessage (notice I didn’t say
BBM? I know). Because let’s face
it, what do you want to talk about all the time?
You come across as jobless and clingy. Ladies
don’t want that (well, the sensible ones really)
4. Point number 3 always raises the question “So
when should I hit her up?” These things don’t
have set time stamps man, Just like you know
when you gotta go to the loo, it’s similar feelings.
The next thing you should never do is live beyond
your means. So you’re trying to bag that high
class chic but we all know you stay in my side of
town and you’ve got my type of money that is
planned on per month basis (life is hard my
nigga), The best you can do is be real with
yourself. Don’t put up fronts because you wanna
impress cos the same momentum you start with
is the same you’ve gotta maintain. I’m not now
saying you should do a buka first date but guy, if
na amala and ewedu you fit afford, better find
babe wey go happily throwback that amala with
you.
So yeah, you’ve done your part and alladat, the
ball is eventually in her court, leave it there. I
know you wanna know where you stand and all
but it’s never a good idea to bombard her. Some
of you niggas even start using pictures of her as
DP, putting up corny ass status messages, your
tweets become Drakish and you just sound like a
slowpoke without even trying. My advice? Lean
back. If she’s into you, she’ll let you know sooner
or later, and if she don’t, it’s ok to eventually
ask.
And guys, “No” is an answer.
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