The Five Friends You Must Have When You’re Single
Saw this on naijasinglegirls and i think it rocks for me so i decided to post it .
They say it takes a village, and when you’re
single, it actually might. (A village of friends, that
is.) I personally could not do without mine; I need
that mix of personalities to help keep me in
check. I need a panel. A balanced one.
Here’s my list of indispensable friends:
THE SHRINK
I am lucky enough that one of my best friends is
a shrink. No, really. It’s her actual job. This is
what’s so great about having a shrink as a best
friend: They never judge. And if they do, they
don’t tell you. They use phrases like “Why are you
engaging?” and “That’s okay, it’s how it makes
you feel.” They will tell you it’s okay to call or
text if that’s what you feel you need to do. And
you believe them. Because it’s their job to help
people.
“I have called 26 times. I can’t stop. Do you think
I should call again?”
“If you feel you need to do that, then that’s what
you need to do to get through it.”
They will tell you to ask yourself why you feel you
need to do that (which of course is code for
please don’t), but then give you permission to go
right ahead. And sometimes you need to hit rock
bottom before you can find your way to the top.
They know that. And trust me, one day, you will
too.
THE WING MAN
This friend will go to the ends of earth in support
of your most unhealthy endeavors mainly because
she enjoys watching the show. She will encourage
you to do things — things you would never dream
of doing — because she thinks it’s fun to watch.
She is the equivalent of drinking 6 shots of
tequila, giving you courage that you maybe
shouldn’t have. She will tell you all of your
craziness is justified. She will tell you that you
are way better than he is. And she really does
believe it. Why? Because she is your best friend
and has your back no matter what. Even when
you are 100% wrong. You need this person as a
confidence booster. An alter ego, if you will. Even
if it may sometimes get you into trouble, which, I
assure you, it will.
THE JUDGER
This is crucial. You must have a judgmental
friend. One who will make you feel this big when
you tell her what you have done. She will tell you
that the guy you are dating doesn’t like you, if
he’s not treating you right. She will tell you he is
not that into you and reinforce all of your deepest
insecurities. She will make you feel like shit for
days when you tell her about that text you sent
that you know you shouldn’t have sent. There is
nothing that can win her approval short of him
showing up on your doorstep with 4000 flowers,
and even then she still may think he sucks. But
you do need her. Because sometimes, though not
always — she’s probably right.
THE OPPOSITE SEX
This one is tricky and you must tread carefully.
First and foremost, it can’t be someone who may
have feelings for you in any way. In that case, he
may do his best to sabotage your relationship. It
must also be someone who is able to have
healthy relationships of his own and offer real
advice you can stick to. It can’t be a playboy,
someone who has never been in a relationship, or
someone who is jaded against relationships of
any kind. Because he’s of the opposite sex, you
will think he’s are the authority of that sex. And
that’s okay. Sometimes blind faith is good.
THE VOICE OF REASON*
This is the friend that doesn’t choose a side. She
is able to look at both sides of the argument and
understand each. This person may surprise you
with her diplomacy and you need her to keep you
balanced. While the judger is making you feel like
shit, the wing man is pulling you off a very
dangerous cliff, the opposite sex is stereotyping
the gender as a whole, and the shrink is telling
you no matter how you feel it’s okay to feel that
way even if it’s insane, which it most likely is, the
voice of reason will be able to tie it all together
for you. You need this person. She will tell you
when you’re being bat shit crazy. She will help
you put things in perspective, which you will need
when things become unclear, as they often will.
*Note: This is the person you should listen to the
most. You know that. But you won’t always. And
that’s okay.
Your turn: Can you ID each of these friend types
in your life? Did we miss anyone? Disagree with
anyone we included? Tell us
They say it takes a village, and when you’re
single, it actually might. (A village of friends, that
is.) I personally could not do without mine; I need
that mix of personalities to help keep me in
check. I need a panel. A balanced one.
Here’s my list of indispensable friends:
THE SHRINK
I am lucky enough that one of my best friends is
a shrink. No, really. It’s her actual job. This is
what’s so great about having a shrink as a best
friend: They never judge. And if they do, they
don’t tell you. They use phrases like “Why are you
engaging?” and “That’s okay, it’s how it makes
you feel.” They will tell you it’s okay to call or
text if that’s what you feel you need to do. And
you believe them. Because it’s their job to help
people.
“I have called 26 times. I can’t stop. Do you think
I should call again?”
“If you feel you need to do that, then that’s what
you need to do to get through it.”
They will tell you to ask yourself why you feel you
need to do that (which of course is code for
please don’t), but then give you permission to go
right ahead. And sometimes you need to hit rock
bottom before you can find your way to the top.
They know that. And trust me, one day, you will
too.
THE WING MAN
This friend will go to the ends of earth in support
of your most unhealthy endeavors mainly because
she enjoys watching the show. She will encourage
you to do things — things you would never dream
of doing — because she thinks it’s fun to watch.
She is the equivalent of drinking 6 shots of
tequila, giving you courage that you maybe
shouldn’t have. She will tell you all of your
craziness is justified. She will tell you that you
are way better than he is. And she really does
believe it. Why? Because she is your best friend
and has your back no matter what. Even when
you are 100% wrong. You need this person as a
confidence booster. An alter ego, if you will. Even
if it may sometimes get you into trouble, which, I
assure you, it will.
THE JUDGER
This is crucial. You must have a judgmental
friend. One who will make you feel this big when
you tell her what you have done. She will tell you
that the guy you are dating doesn’t like you, if
he’s not treating you right. She will tell you he is
not that into you and reinforce all of your deepest
insecurities. She will make you feel like shit for
days when you tell her about that text you sent
that you know you shouldn’t have sent. There is
nothing that can win her approval short of him
showing up on your doorstep with 4000 flowers,
and even then she still may think he sucks. But
you do need her. Because sometimes, though not
always — she’s probably right.
THE OPPOSITE SEX
This one is tricky and you must tread carefully.
First and foremost, it can’t be someone who may
have feelings for you in any way. In that case, he
may do his best to sabotage your relationship. It
must also be someone who is able to have
healthy relationships of his own and offer real
advice you can stick to. It can’t be a playboy,
someone who has never been in a relationship, or
someone who is jaded against relationships of
any kind. Because he’s of the opposite sex, you
will think he’s are the authority of that sex. And
that’s okay. Sometimes blind faith is good.
THE VOICE OF REASON*
This is the friend that doesn’t choose a side. She
is able to look at both sides of the argument and
understand each. This person may surprise you
with her diplomacy and you need her to keep you
balanced. While the judger is making you feel like
shit, the wing man is pulling you off a very
dangerous cliff, the opposite sex is stereotyping
the gender as a whole, and the shrink is telling
you no matter how you feel it’s okay to feel that
way even if it’s insane, which it most likely is, the
voice of reason will be able to tie it all together
for you. You need this person. She will tell you
when you’re being bat shit crazy. She will help
you put things in perspective, which you will need
when things become unclear, as they often will.
*Note: This is the person you should listen to the
most. You know that. But you won’t always. And
that’s okay.
Your turn: Can you ID each of these friend types
in your life? Did we miss anyone? Disagree with
anyone we included? Tell us
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